went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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