stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
