so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Text me some of your sweat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
