I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
