I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
