there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
