I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
