They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
