your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
