I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dicks are not precious.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
