and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
