Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
