When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my being single is dangerous.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
