How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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