just tell him i said nine months
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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