Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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