You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
