I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
