You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
