Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
