Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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