Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
