I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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