38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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