Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
