drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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