Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
