I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
