i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
