I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
