And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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