You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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