have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
