I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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