kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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