What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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