The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You took a bar mat shot.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
