i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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