the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
