barbara walters just said penis...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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