I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
