Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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