Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
