Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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