If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
