I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
