one two three fourrrrnication!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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