we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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