I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
false alarm, still single
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
