i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
