im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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